Choose Life. Choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a family. Choose a fucking big television, choose washing machines, cars, compact disc players and electrical tin openers. Choose good health, low cholesterol, and dental insurance. Choose fixed interest mortgage repayments. Choose a starter home. Choose your friends. Choose leisurewear and matching luggage. Choose a three-piece suit on hire purchase in a range of fucking fabrics. Choose DIY and wondering who the fuck you are on Sunday morning. Choose sitting on that couch watching mind-numbing, spirit-crushing game shows, stuffing fucking junk food into your mouth. Choose rotting away at the end of it all, pissing your last in a miserable home, nothing more than an embarrassment to the selfish, fucked up brats you spawned to replace yourselves. Choose your future. Choose life… But why would I want to do a thing like that? I chose not to choose life. I chose somethin’ else. And the reasons? There are no reasons. Who needs reasons when you’ve got heroin?
Following the release of The Fellowship of the Ring movie in 2001, internet fandom fixated upon the unnamed Elf extra who appeared sitting beside Aragorn during the Council of Elrond.
The extra, played by Bret McKenzie (of Flight of the Conchords), was dubbed “Figwit” by fandom. “Figwit” stood for “Frodo is great… who is THAT?!”
Despite appearing in the film for less than three seconds, Figwit was everywhere in fandom. There were calls for Figwit action figures, a flood of Figwit fanfics, NSFW Figwit fanart, and whole websites devoted to Figwit - such as www.figwitlives.com, which is, somehow, still running. Some fanfic writers re-named him “Melpomaen” - a loose translation of “fig” and “wit” into Elvish.
Peter Jackson took notice of the Figwit fandom and brought McKenzie back for a speaking role in the third film to play the Elf escort that addresses Arwen:
